Did your parent’s ever quote Thumper’s Law to you when you
were growing up?
My mother did. She would hold her hand up like a stop sign,
point her index finger upward and politely say "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Thumper’s Law (from Bambi) has been spinning
inside my head since I returned from my recent TransAtlantic crossing on the Norwegian Epic.
After 14 days at sea I find myself
struggling to come up with positive things to write about this ship. I find this perplexing as I read that the Epic enjoys a 66% satisfaction rate. Built in 2010 and refurbished in 2015, with a
guest capacity of 4,100, the Norwegian
Epic ranks as number 3 on the top 10 list for largest cruise ships in the world. The Westbound TransAtlantic route for this
cruise was Barcelona to Port Canaveral.
First was a flight from Oregon to Tampa to meet up with my cruise partner and an
overnight stay. The next morning was a drive from Tampa to
Orlando which took 2.5 hours, putting me at the JetBlue ticket counter at
10:30am. I would be flying JetBlue from
Orlando to Boston and then TAP Portugal Airlines from Boston to Barcelona via Lisbon.
I had completed an online check-in with
TAP Portugal Airlines and paid a
$100 excess baggage fee for my second bag but, unfortunately,
when I presented my paid receipt to JetBlue they refused to honor it. Instead, JetBlue charged me $95 for the excess baggage
fees and suggested that I apply for a refund from TAP Portugal Airlines for the
$100 I paid to them. Lesson learned through
this experience: The originating airline dictates the baggage fees
paid.
My passport includes Global Entry as well as TSA Pre-Check so passing through security at Orlando was
quite simple. I am not sure I would do this particular routing
again because of the long layover required in Lisbon but the ticket price was
under $450 and included 1 FREE checked bag, meal service and pre-reserved
seating. The TAP flight was very
comfortable with an A330 aircraft and seating configuration of 2-4-2. In addition to complimentary pillows/blankets
and earphones in the coach cabin, each seat is equipped with a USB port and audio
jack, as well as a 110/220 outlet under the seat in front of you.
After a long 36 hours I finally arrived
in Barcelona, cleared immigrations and customs and made my way down to baggage
claim. I patiently waited as suitcases
dropped onto the revolving carousel. As
my eyes were scanning each bag looking for my black Samsonite bag with the blue
security strap, suddenly the carousel
stops. You know that sinking feeling in
your gut that your luggage has been lost.
Sure enough, my luggage did not arrive with me. That meant forms to complete and more delays. I was given an “overnight amenity” kit with
standard sundries that included such items as a toothbrush, toothpaste,
hairbrush, deodorant and a thin white t-shirt.
I was verbally told I could spend $75 a day on clothes, given a form to
record my purchases and told and that my suitcase would be sent to my first
port-o-call, Tenerife, Canary Islands. As my mother used to say “It is what it is.”
Transfer from the Barcelona airport to Hotel Flor Parks on La Ramblas was pre-paid
through Pick-n-Go. I had not used this company before and
will probably not use them again. It
took 20 minutes just to locate their van.
All my inquiries with local airport workers produced nothing but strange
looks. No one I spoke with was
familiar with Pick ‘n Go. Finally I spotted
the van but the dark grey color with the dark red logo made it very difficult
to see at night. I finally left the airport at 8:30pm. As I last glanced at the clock and closed my
eyes it was 10:05pm. It had been a long 36
hours since I began my trip from Tampa.
A very pleasant surprise awaited me the
following morning. My luggage was
located and delivered to my hotel. After
a wonderful and inexpensive fully cooked breakfast, for just under $8 USD, at Caféd’Opera I checked out of the hotel, hailed my
taxi and made my way to the cruise dock.
Now for another good comment on
the ship. The check-in process was
handled very efficiently and the line moved quickly, about 30 minutes from taxi
drop off until I was sitting on my bed in the cabin. I opted for an inside cabin #13072 on deck 13
close to mid-ship.
Having been on close to 30 cruises I have
experienced a wide variety of cabin layouts and for the most part, they are all
pretty similar, except for the EPIC. I
would only have 1 word for the design – AWEFUL! At 128 sq. ft. it rates as one of the
smaller cabins afloat. Strangely, the
designer must have felt that a ‘traditional’ bathroom wasn’t needed. This layout located the toilet on the left
and shower on your right. The problem -
both toilet and shower were enclosed by a semi-circle of translucent glass,
leaving little to no privacy.
 |
| Can also be configured as a Queen |
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| Closet which proved to have adequate storage for two. |
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| Shower stall with semi-circle glass door |
As for the sink, it was extremely small
and shallow and is located in the desktop area.
This allowed for water to spill over onto my laptop just by simply
washing my hands.
 |
| Sink and work area with Shower in the background |
The next major problem with the room
was the terrible lighting. Luckily I had
taken a 20-LED flashlight with me so I was able to strategically place it over
the closet. This provided enough light
for me to put on my makeup. As the days
on board the EPIC passed I asked numerous passengers how they liked their room
and without exception each one mentioned the poor lighting. Be sure that you take a power strip with
you as they only provide one (1) 110V power outlet and it is hidden underneath
the desk area.
Entertainment on the ship was not
typical entertainment either. I felt
like I was in college trying to finalize my class schedule. A typical ship offers 2 shows in their main
theater consisting of one early show and one late show. The EPIC functions differently. You select the entertainment you want to
watch each day by time and venue and then make reservations. Just making my entertainment reservations for
the 14-day cruise took 20 minutes and I found that I was constantly making
changes. Another positive comment – the
chairs in the EPIC Theater were very comfortable and included drink holders.
 |
| Epic Theater |
The EPIC offers 2 formal dining rooms; TASTE and MANHATTAN. The MANHATTAN is
available for dinners only. I
prefer not to eat in the buffet, due to noise and congestion, so most of my meals were in the TASTE dining room. This room has very
low ceilings, dark décore and very limited windows.
 |
| Taste Dining Room |
 |
| Taste Dining Room from the Floor above |
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| Taste Dining Room |
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| Taste Dining Room |
When you enter the dining room you will
present your cabin key card. I always
opted to “share a table”. Positive comment
- you meet very interesting people by sharing a table.
 | |
| Manhattan Dining Room Sample Menu |
The itinerary for my Westbound
TransAtlantic included only 2 ports – Tenerife in the Canary Islands and San
Juan, Puerto Rico. All remaining days
were sea days, my favorite. (photo of
cruise map)
 |
| Norwegian Epic TransAtlantic Cruise Map |
Three times within the first 8 days I
found myself locked out of the cabin.
The first two times security changed batteries in the door but by the
third time a total replacement was required.
On two separate occasions the phone
MESSAGE light was blinking however, when trying to recover the message it would
simply say “Your message has been deleted”. Guest Services were unable to trace
the message and I was told that they were having phone problems throughout the ship. This was a major problem as the deleted
messages caused me to miss two separate dinner engagements.
On a final positive note, even though I do not care to cruise on the EPIC again, I am booked on an Eastbound
TransAtlantic cruise on the Norwegian Jade for April 30, 2017.
#Norwegian Epic
#Norwegian Epic
